You Dirty Bitches

Didn't you just know there was something fishy about the Jackson jury? When that ridiculous old woman said, "I didn't like it when the accuser's mother snapped her fingers at us. I said, 'don't you snap your fingers at me,'" like an irrational old bat looking for any bullsh%t excuse to let him off the hook. Well, surprise surprise. It was all a sham:

Juror Eleanor Cook says she smuggled a medical text into deliberations to show "Jackson fit the book's definition of a pedophile to a T." Other jurors later held it over her head to "intimidate" her into voting for acquittal, she says.

Cook admits she frequently winked at Jackson's mother Katherine in court and "exchanged wardrobe tips" with the entertainer's mom, which resulted in them wearing the same colors on certain days. "She [Cook] intimated that she communicated with Katherine Jackson, in some manner, during the trial," said Brown.

A gang of three female jurors were such rabid Jackson fans that they cooed, "Not my Michael . . ." when the panel discussed the felony charges against the pop idol. Both Cook and juror Ray Hultman "said these three women formed a bond, and their minds were made up about one-third of the way through the trial," Brown said.

What a goddamn travesty. The whole jury should be tortured for a week and then shot as an example of what happens to people who tamper with the legal process and knowingly endanger the lives and safety of children. Dirty bitches.