Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Bring Back Mike Tyson

I had heard or read a number of these quotes, but some of them are new to me, and they all remind me that when he's free associating, there's nothing nuttier and more hilarious than a Mike Tyson quote:

"I want to rip out his heart and feed it to him. I want to kill people. I want to rip their stomachs out and eat their children."

"There are nine million people who see me in the ring and hate my guts. Most of them are white. That's okay. Just spell my name right."

"I love to hit people. I love to. Most celebrities are afraid someone's going to attack them. I want someone to attack me. No weapons. Just me and him. I like to beat men and beat them bad."

"One morning I woke up and found my favorite pigeon, Julius, had died. I was devastated and was gonna use his crate as my stickball bat to honor him. I left the crate on my stoop and went in to get something and I returned to see the sanitation man put the crate into the crusher. I rushed him and caught him flush on the temple with a titanic right hand he was out cold, convulsing on the floor like an infantile retard."

I can't even name one heavyweight boxer today, and if I could, they'd be boring as hell compared to this guy. I guess he couldn't last forever . . .

From Double Viking

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