Sunday, October 28, 2007

More Halloween Fun

This must be the fourth or fifth kiddie Halloween event Sabrina's been to already, and it's still only the 28th (in the picture, that is). She loves sweets and dressing up, so she's a natural. This is on a small stage that Sabrina gravitated to as soon as we came into the room, and pretty soon there were a bunch of other kids bouncing around onstage with her as I and some of the other parents provided rhythmic accompaniment.

Man is Sabrina a lot of fun, she just makes the whole room get up and dance wherever she goes. Yay Super Baby!

Friday, October 26, 2007

Bouncy Castles are Evil

Sabrina survived a series of bouncy castle adventures two Fridays ago without incident, despite being inside one with four or five other children of similar age at least four different times. If you've never seen a group of two-year-olds in a bouncy castle, it's basically a NASCAR race without helmets. Wait long enough and someone's going to get hurt. Sabrina and the other tykes managed, how I still don't know, to avoid head-butting each other over a total of maybe 10 minutes, only to learn a painful lesson the next day.

On Saturday, Mommy took Sabrina to Texas Jumping Beans, a kiddie gymnasium with a number of different fun activities for kids, and one of them was a bouncy castle. At some point a little boy bounced up into her chin as she was coming down and she bit the heck out of her tongue. Mommy was very cool and collected as she picked Sabrina up, strapped her into the child seat and got me on the phone to find out where the nearest ER was. I, despite having seen a fair amount of gore, death and misery and feeling pretty much nothing about it, and being able to function well in such situations, lost it. Deirdre had to calm me down, which is pretty pathetic considering she was driving around with a screaming, bleeding baby at the time. I finally chilled enough to be helpful and started North to find them.

At the ER, I found that Sabrina was pretty calm and had bitten two large holes in her tongue. She cooperated nicely with the doc, who said no stitches were necessary and prescribed her Amoxicillin to ward off infection, and then warned us not to give her sour or salty foods. She immediately insisted on Cheetos and a lime popsicle, being the tough little thing she is. Yeah, they hurt, but not enough to keep her from eating them.

I had to ask the nurse what she thought about bouncy castles, and she said her kids don't get to do anything fun in the first place because she's an ER nurse, but that bouncy castles were particularly dangerous in her estimation. I asked what kind of injuries they cause, and she said "broken bones, concussions, terrible cuts, eye injuries, teeth knocked out by impact and ripped out by the safety netting" whereupon I told her enough, I was boycotting the bouncy castle too. Sabrina may have other plans, but the only way I'm letting her back in a bouncy castle in the nextg 18 months is if I get to go in with her and hip-check all the other kids away from her. I'm sure that will go over well with the other parents.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Oh Sweet Lord No

I say no, but I'd eat the hell out of this. It would probably not result in a happy tummy, but the taste must be heavenly. Or disgusting, one of those two.

Thanks to Skinny Bean in Denver for the link.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Into Each Life a Little Poop Must Sashay

It hurts me physically to see my daughter cry. Even worse is being the reason for the crying, which is extraordinarily unpleasant in every way. Makes you feel like a monster, which you are for being the reason a child cries. If you contribute in any way to a fall, like not moving something she could trip over from a path, you feel like Stalin.

Sabrina doesn't look terribly unhappy in this picture. I'm sure neither I nor my wife would have stood there and taken a picture while she was genuinely miserable, and she doesn't really look that pissy so it could be tiredness-based or manipulation for all I know. Yes, my daughter is a master manipulator already, and good for her. She's going to need that later.

I mean it's like having your skin peeled off, seeing and hearing your child in pain. In the running for worst thing ever.

Saturday, October 13, 2007

The Unvarnished Truth

If you didn't see Seinfeld accept the first annual Comedy Award, you missed one of the great speeches of all time. Watch and enjoy:

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Sabrina and Aunt Clare

My sister Clare's hypnotic stare has rendered Sabrina completely immobile and zombie-like. She's been doing that to all of us a lot lately, something to do with the yoga she's been studying I believe. So if you get trapped in an elevator with her, don't make eye contact or you may find yourself mailing her exotic candies and doing her ironing.

Sabrina had her first day of preschool today and loved it. About the third day we lived in the new house, we took Sabrina for a ride in the baby chariot you attach to the back of a bicycle, which she loved, and happened to run into a playgroup of 2005 babies that meets at the park a block away from where we live and run a little preschool at one of the many local churches twice a week. The parents themselves do the supervising, taking turns, and the idea is that you'd be able to leave your child there for a couple of hours twice a week and occasionally take care of a bunch of kids during that time, but I'm not convinced that D will want to do that as often as twice a week. That surprises me, considering how difficult it is to be a small child's primary caregiver 24/7 for years at a time, but my wife is exactly the mother I would wish for my daughter if I could invent her from scratch, and she's not handing our baby over to a group of strangers in a church until she knows for damn sure it's safe to do so. So she'll attend months of preschool with Sabrina before she decides, whereupon I have two options: to agree or to keep my mouth shut.

Am I right, ladies?