Death to Paula

Enough already. Paula Abdul has never been anything like a benefit to American Idol in terms of analyzing performances and giving helpful advice - she generally does nothing more than parrot Randy Jackson's opinions, and every female guest judge has been ten times better than Paula at her job. It's pretty sad that someone with a terrible voice is in the position of judging these kids on their vocal skills, and to their credit none of them have made that observation on the air. It must have been tempting, though.

She's been hammered for most of the current season's shows, but last night was ridiculous:

Paula Abdul - make rehab your own.

The “American Idol” judge was incoherent on last night’s live telecast, bumbling lines and giggling like she’d just emerged from a Grateful Dead concert, leaving audiences, contestants and host Ryan Seacrest more confused than a homophobic Clay Aiken fan.

When Seacrest asked Abdul why two contestants received the fewest votes, she mumbled, head in hands, “Simon said because one of them ate pizza and the other ate salad.”

A shocked Seacrest responded, “You guys realize we’re on the air?”

Abdul got it together for a few minutes, but during the second round of cuts, she was back to her odd behavior.

“What did you tell me Simon?” she said, slurring her words. “What did you tell me? Simon gave me advice and said on “The X Factor” he always refers to a fortune cookie and says the moth who finds the melon - (laugher) - finds the corn flake always finds the melon and one of you didn’t pick the right fortune.”

Join me, won't you, in letting Fox know what a flaming turd Paula Abdul is.