Saturday, November 19, 2005

There's Something You Don't See Every Day

This sentence, from a comment on a post over at Rogers Cadenhead's Workbench:

It was quite a jump from bestiality to the Packers.

Which led me to post this poll on my NFL pool message board:

In the "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" sense, how many steps are there between bestiality and the Packers?

Zero. Packer fandom and bestiality are one and the same.

Three: Farm animals provide milk, milk is made into cheese, Packer fans eat, wear and have sex with the cheese. Not real bestiality but close enough

Four: Young, lonely midwestern kids learn to love the livestock, the livestock learn to live with the undignified and unsatisfying nature of human/animal sex, they produce certain enzymes that contribute to the particularly delightful flavor of Tillamook Cheddar, Packer fans eat said Tillamook and feel a certain attraction to the family dog

Six: Ray Nitschke was in "The Longest Yard" with Burt Reynolds; Reynolds starred in "Starting Over" with Kevin Bacon; Bacon was in "The River Wild" with Meryl Streep; Streep made an episode of "The Simpsons" with Harry Shearer; Shearer starred in "Spinal Tap" with Christopher Guest; and Guest was featured in "The Princess Bride" with that pigf#cker Chris Sarandon


Big Cheese said...

Uncle Mikey has defiled the sacred precincts. For him to equate cheesiality with bestiality is a mortal stink.

Can it be mere coincidence that Tillamook Cheddar is the "world's pre-eminent dog artist?"

I think not.

Besides, we don't eat Tillamook cheddar up here, you skogsbrander (look it up), we eat beer kase, of course.

Uncle Mikey said...

I'm trying to look skogsbrander up, but it's all in Finlandian or something. But I may well be guilty. Anyways, Bret Favre and TO will be playing for the Cowboys next year, so it's a madhouse.

big cheese said...

I'm speechless.

Btw, 'skogsbrander' means forest fire in Swedish. Just a meaningless joke, unless you can give it meaning (something tells me you can.

big cheese said...

We Finns have an old custom, Uncle Mikey. It doesn't involve dogs or cheese, but it does involve bacon.
Please come up to Green Bay sometime, and let us demonstrate.