Baby Perch

This is where Sabrina perches while Mommy and (occasionally) Daddy make breakfast, lunch and dinner. Note the inch-wide armrest, and know the seat is seat high off the carpet. She took a backward tumble off this perch a week and a half ago, and both Mommy and Daddy were on the wrong side to help. I didn't see it, but whatever she did dropped her very gently on her stomach, which is where I found her. She cried for maybe a minute after, almost nothing. Nice landing, sweetheart.

I, on the other hand, should be beaten with a sjambok for picking her up like a complete moron, whether or not I thought she was OK (I went by the sound, and it sounded like an easy fall), I never should have picked her up like that. BAD DADDY! NO NO NO NO!!!!!

Funniest Thing Ever

I was over at my buddy Mike S.'s (he of the Cobra and inordinately large R/C car collection) hanging out as he was watching Miami Ink or that other tattoo show. I was remarking that the reasons given for having the tattoos done were mostly pretty tragic ("I ran over my own kid/my husband shot a cop and is in prison forever/my Mom died of cancer") and then we started talking about how many Rockabilly-looking people have tattoos today. Mike said, "What do you mean rockabilly people?" I described the qualities of such people, like rolled up jeans, white t-shirts with cigarette packs rolled up in one sleeve, pompadours, big sideburns, Bettie Page hairdos on the women, pale skin, hair dyed black, that kind of thing.

Mike responds, "You mean like Goth Fonzie?"

I still laugh out loud every time I think of it.

Ho-ly-Sh*t

Man is this insane, mostly because I thought it would end up as a fireball speeding through the desert. Nicely done my good man.

From Jalopnik, which is quite good.

OK, David Beckham is Pretty Good

I'm not at all sure this will embed for everyone, but it worked on my Mac and that's generally plenty of embeddiness for just about anyone. Anypoop, I enjoyed it, and as Reggie Bush says in the video, I have a newfound respect for soccer after watching this:



Check out Becks hackying a goddamn football like 7 times, as the ball spins and presents him 7 differently angled surface on 7 different parts of the ball, on his first try ever. Great athletes excel at just about everything immediately, and he's no different. That wacky dork-style double move pattern he smokes Bush with was awesome too.

Link courtesy of Trent at Pink is the New Blog.

Et Tu, Butch?

My alternate headline is "Think you used enough dumbass there, Butch?" Now even Paul Newman feels he has to utter inanities on the topic of America's "spirit" being crushed by Republicans in a fundraising email for the DNC. Hey Paul? Don't take a huge dump on your heretofore unimpeachable legacy by revealing yourself to be a weak-minded Hollywood ninny.

Oh Thank God

I was sure Al Gore's propaganda was working far better than it actually is:

ALMOST three quarters of people believe global warming is a 'natural occurrence' and not a result of carbon emissions, a survey claimed today.

This goes against the views of the vast majority of scientists who believe the rise in the earth's temperatures is due to pollution.

Note the completely false assertion that the "vast majority" of scientists believe any such thing (they don't, and practically none of the climatologists, that is to say the people whose field of study all of this is, do either), and the sickeningly biased implication that most people are stupid for thinking what they think. Such editorializing, even if it were true, has no goddamn place in a news story anyway. And Diane Feinstein thinks talk radio needs a "legislative fix"? Why the hell does she think there was a market for Rush Limbaugh in the first place? The news industry has been biased to the left for 40 years, that's why. Just another example, as if one were needed, of liberals to try to suppress dissenting voices, like Al Gore saying any scientist who disagreed with his retarded version of events was on Bush's payroll.

Link from Skinny Bean, whose love for Bret Favre knows no legal or moral bounds.

Why Should I Be Different?

Everybody else has posted the Dramatic Chipmunk, why shouldn't I?

Sweet Boots

Sabrina is doing a lot of talking now, she says "Nooooooo" in a cute singsongy way when you offer her one too many bites of dinner, or you ask her if she wants a different crayon when she doesn't. She's making little sentences, like "Daddy help" and "jump car," which I think means "drive me to Radi Jazz or Texas Jumping Beans." She loves to make animal sounds and name familiar things, for example we'll ask her for a kiss and she'll bounce between us bestowing little kisses, declaring "Ki, Ki!" after each one.

Somehow I thought the learning curve would be really fast at first and then slow down slightly as the volume and difficulty of the associations increased, but it seems to be the other way around: she's moving faster and faster through more and more complicated material.

In other words, she's awesome.

Call Me Mr. Furious

The far left of the Democratic Party has always been crazy, dangerous and hate-filled, and unabashedly so. So-called "moderates" like the Clintons at least pretended to some level of sanity. Well, no more. Complete and utter insanity, right out where we can see it.

Silly Time

This really is the best of the 300 mashups:



Well done.

And You Thought the US Was Effed Up

Asterix, goddamn Asterix (the most excellent French comic book about a group of Vercingetorix-era french kooks, nutlaps, weirdos and yard-sleepers (thank you Lord Onstad for that last one) , has just been purged from the EU Officially Sanctioned Library.

Why, you ask? Because it's not hip to the scene, baby:

Astérix also projects "a Gaulish vision which ignores the intercultural reality of French society," they say. His constant resistance against the Romans and other foreign invaders sends altogether the wrong message in the peace-loving European Union.

[ ... ]

It congratulated Obélix for tackling the problem of obesity but faulted the cartoon for failing to deal with unsanitary housing. The child defenders are also upset that Astérix delivers "a eulogy to tribal, hierarchical, society with frequent references to a chief." The right to education is sadly depicted by a woman school-teacher telling pupils: "Get into rows in silence please," adds the DCI.

Thank God they've stopped the evil that is Asterix and Obelix. Now the children are safe!

Amen, Brother

I've blogged about this guy before, and his message is even more pertinent now:

SPIEGEL: Mr. Shikwati, the G8 summit at Gleneagles is about to beef up the development aid for Africa...

Shikwati: ... for God's sake, please just stop.

SPIEGEL: Stop? The industrialized nations of the West want to eliminate hunger and poverty.

Shikwati: Such intentions have been damaging our continent for the past 40 years. If the industrial nations really want to help the Africans, they should finally terminate this awful aid. The countries that have collected the most development aid are also the ones that are in the worst shape. Despite the billions that have poured in to Africa, the continent remains poor.

SPIEGEL: Do you have an explanation for this paradox?

Shikwati: Huge bureaucracies are financed (with the aid money), corruption and complacency are promoted, Africans are taught to be beggars and not to be independent. In addition, development aid weakens the local markets everywhere and dampens the spirit of entrepreneurship that we so desperately need. As absurd as it may sound: Development aid is one of the reasons for Africa's problems. If the West were to cancel these payments, normal Africans wouldn't even notice. Only the functionaries would be hard hit. Which is why they maintain that the world would stop turning without this development aid.

Most people believe good intentions are sufficient to qualify any "Aid program" or other "charity" that purports to want to help the disadvantaged. In truth, some of the worst crimes against humanity are dressed up as philanthropic exercises. Oil-for-Food, for example. So James Shikwati, who's seen the excesses and outright evils visited on his country by so-called "philanthropic organizations," has had enough. If you need more of an explanation, read on:

SPIEGEL: Even in a country like Kenya, people are starving to death each year. Someone has got to help them.

Shikwati: But it has to be the Kenyans themselves who help these people. When there's a drought in a region of Kenya, our corrupt politicians reflexively cry out for more help. This call then reaches the United Nations World Food Program -- which is a massive agency of apparatchiks who are in the absurd situation of, on the one hand, being dedicated to the fight against hunger while, on the other hand, being faced with unemployment were hunger actually eliminated. It's only natural that they willingly accept the plea for more help. And it's not uncommon that they demand a little more money than the respective African government originally requested. They then forward that request to their headquarters, and before long, several thousands tons of corn are shipped to Africa ...

SPIEGEL: ... corn that predominantly comes from highly-subsidized European and American farmers ...

Shikwati: ... and at some point, this corn ends up in the harbor of Mombasa. A portion of the corn often goes directly into the hands of unsrupulous politicians who then pass it on to their own tribe to boost their next election campaign. Another portion of the shipment ends up on the black market where the corn is dumped at extremely low prices. Local farmers may as well put down their hoes right away; no one can compete with the UN's World Food Program. And because the farmers go under in the face of this pressure, Kenya would have no reserves to draw on if there actually were a famine next year. It's a simple but fatal cycle.

There's much, much more, and you should read it all.

I Declare

This trowel to be the third most awesome in the county. Live with it, suckas.

Sassy Bananas

Lord she is adorable. We took her to the pediatrician for her 18 month checkup and of course she is in fine fettle and pushing 97th percentile in head size. I can't get enough of her hair and how great it looks on camera, you can almost never see the color correctly unless it's in a picture, which makes no sense of any kind. Oh well.

Sabrina loves running down the slight grade leading down the sidewalk toward the park, held by the hands so any stumble, misstep or outright quadricep failure can be absorbed by the parent or parents. She kind of floats along at a baby sprint, sort of a moonwalk experience I'd imagine.

Doing it solo is one of the more challenging maneuvers I've come across in this fatherhood thing, and I include in that the length and breadth of baby tossing. You basically run in slow motion bent double sideways, desperately ignoring the pain in your spine and legs. Her expression alone makes it worth the pain, but there must be a better way. Time to invent a baby device . . .

Putting On a Show

Sabrina doesn't get to see Aunt Genie all that much any more, and last time she was here my baby really put on the dog for her. She wanted Auntie G to see everything she did, and wanted to know everything about what she was doing. Sweet sis was very accommodating and lovely, hope to see her again soon.

Better than Most Musicians

Sure, at first this



just seems like a guy making farty noises with his hands, but give him a minute or two to blow your mind by playing Classical Gas pretty damn accurately with those farty hands. Amazing, if you ask me. Do hit the Youtube page link for other manualist action (yes, making farty noises with your hands makes you a Manualist) in the suggestions bar to the right of the screen. Awesome is the only word that fits.

That's Not Good

Well that sucks. I loves me some Coca-Cola. Now what the hell am I supposed to drink, iced frickin' tea?

I Didn't Know that Was Possible

From the Kircher Society, a gorgeous collection of origami by a gentleman named Richard Sweeney in a Flickr set that is utterly amazing.

I remember making origami on rainy days as a kid, my sisters were much better at it than I was but I did enjoy it and made some fairly decent swans and such. I never imagined anything like this was possible, and if I understand Mr. Sweeney's explanation, he didn't have any formal training in origami before he started to mess around with paper. All the best innovations come from people like that, people who don't care what has come before, who view the past as a prison that limits the future.

Good and Good for You

The Anchoress does the heavy lifting for us. Required reading for just about everybody.

I'm a Dork

I get such a kick out of this:



That has to be my second favorite National Anthem rendition. This



is my favorite of all time.

Convergence

How cool is this? It's a picture of a Swedish logging site from the air, won some kind of wildlife photo award. I stole it from McSweeney's, right here to be exact. Scroll down and hit one of the numbered links below (where it says "other winners") for more convergence photos.

Dear Jimmy Carter: Shut the F*ck Up

I've never hated a former politician as much as I hate Jimmy Carter. Easily the worst president of the last 100 years, he's now the worst ex-president in American history. Jimmy, please have a stroke or other medical incident incompatible with you being alive.

Tiny Cutie

It's weird to remember how small and fragile Sabrina used to be. Today she's solid as a rock and tough as nails, and she's so good at athletic stuff that we don't worry about her in groups of older kids. I remember being scared to hold and carry her, being scared to change her diaper, because she was just on a whole other scale of tininess and fragility than anything I had ever dealt with. Babies are heartbreakingly vulnerable at this stage and I found it utterly terrifying pretty much the whole time. I obsessed about the tragic possibilities, and I worried every second I held her, carried her or led her by the hands that I would injure her inadvertently just by not being gentle enough.

Which was ridiculous, of course, but you couldn't have convinced me otherwise. So it's nice now that she's solid, athletic and tough and I don't have to treat her like a cracked egg. Yay Sabrina!

Look What God Can Do

A comprehensively horrifying collection of Greensburg, KS twister coverage here at Tim Blair's, where he correctly points out that if a 40,000-lb. oil tanker gets thrown about like a twig, it shouldn't surprise anyone that the local 1,000-lb. meteorite is missing. See the aerial pics at bottom of Tim's post for a serious shock.

Here's hoping God will forgive me for mocking him and Oscar Winner Jennifer Hudson in the title of this post.

Wonder Baby

So let's review what's new with Sabrina the Wonder Baby: many new physical abilities, most of them frightening-looking; drumming in rhythm with Daddy, Mommy or music; dragging both of us onto the dance floor (meaning wherever the music's playing) whenever she wants to dance, which is pretty much always; lots of new words, and all the animal sounds to Old MacDonald at the right times; spinning around in both directions until she's unable to stand up; eating spicy food and not crying; and this week, having a cold that's keeping Daddy up for the last three nights. Gosh I'm tired.

That reminds me, two days ago I was showing a house and the guy who lived there, who should have gotten the hell out instead of shadowing us like Gollum the whole time, was an engineer who had experienced some sort of religious conversion and was pitching it all to become a Christian counselor. Of course I ended up saying G*ddamn three or four times and a couple of other blasphemies. I don't know that God minds, but I imagine the guy who just renounced material wealth to worship full-time probably does.

Picture by lovely and talented sister Genie.